Thoughts

Today just have the P6 Prom.

I was seated next to 6C. I realised though i didnt teach 6C this year, I was closer to them as compared to my 6K whom I was teaching this year. I was joking and laughing with them and hanging around with them.

NW was taking the initiative to interact with me, which is something new as compared to when i met him the first time last year. He actually says to both AL and me that he will miss the both of ud. And we could really sense that he really meant what he says from his eyes. This appreciation are really the rewards that I joined this service for. Not the monetary, but the ones that money cant buy.

R and E was asking me today what will happen if I take F subj next year again. They were actually quite shocked to hear theat i will request to leave the sch if I am assigned to F subj again. They always thought that I am coping well this year and is able to control.

But the fact is, I felt really demoralised teach F subj. I drag myself to work whenever I have class with F subj. I no longer felt the eagerness to interact with the kids. Whatever i showed, was just to overcome the demoralised feeling I have deep inside me. What passion do you have when u practically have to drag yourself out of bed almost everyday?

Opting for another pasture might seem like a coward act to others but I seriously cant take it. I am a person that is not comfortable with moving to an unfamiliar place but if this goes on, that leaves me with no choice. The feel I get from the working place is that once they find that you are able to cope with his environment, you are doomed for this environment. I caanot see myself in this environment for long. If i continue to let this go on for years, it will be a matter of time before it breaks.

But anyway, back to happier thoughts. I felt good that that 6C still remembers me though i didnt taught them for one year alr. I felt appreciated when they take the initiative to say hi to me and treat me as their confidate. This is my motivation, for staying on....