Emotional Coastal Ride

Ever since Wednesday evening, its had been a emotional coastal ride for me.

25 November 2009 (Wednesday)

As lying on my bed watching Animal Planet, suddenly remember that tmr is the PSLE result releasing day. The stress start to creep up on me. The many 'what if' slowly flood my thoughts. What if.... What if...... What if...... Fell asleep only in the early morning.

26 November 2009 (Thursday)

Reach school in the morning. Saw the results. 5 of my F subj students didnt pass chinese. Though it doesnt matter as chinese is not counted as part of the result, i still felt as if I let the school down. Last year was a whooping 100% pass and this year is only 75% pass, I felt very down and depressed. However, i still put on a strong front and act as if nothing happen. However, deep inside, I was thinking about how others will think. Am I really that lousy?

Saw all the P6 pupils and tons of pupils in the hall, all waiting for the release of results. Some were smiling and some were nervous.

All went back to the classrooms to get their results. Some were happy when they got their results but some broke down immediately upon receiving the news.

One student got my attention. B was smiling all the way till the moment he got his result. He was retained. His smile went away immediately and became silent. He went back to his seat and tears start to drop. I knew him for two years and this is the first time i saw his tears drop. Never had i imagine that he could be so disappointed. Nomatter how i console him, his tears flowed like a stream.

Looking outside, i saw WH standing there,looking in. His eyes were also red and before long, his tears start to flow as well. He went to askhim what happen.. He said that he cried because he felt sad for B and as well as he coundlt bear to leave the school ,after 6 years of studying. Truthly speaking, at the point of time, I felt like crying as well.

The Prem asked me over. I was thinking why she called me in a rush. Then i went into the classroom and saw M trying to grab hold of E. E was inconsolable cos he was scared that his Dad might jus give him a good beating. He even thought of committing suicide. Reading this, you might feel that he is just acting. But if you were on the scene, you will know that he actually meant it. But finally, he managed to cool down and we managed to call his mum to speak on the phone with him. After a long while, i released my hold on him. Felt very anggry at his mum for treating him like this.

In the afternoon, realised that I forgot to order the YEP t-shirt while on the way to NCHS to deliver the cheques. Hence, had to return back to school to order the shirts. After which, had to go to NUH to buy the group medicine and then to IMM to buy First Aid kit.

27 Novenber 2009 (Friday)

Went for tuition in the afternoon then followed by badminton with WH, B, SJ and JY. It was raining soon after and hence, did just managed to play for a while. I managed to had a short talk with B. He admitted that he initially had confidence that he will pass PSLE. Hence, was very disappointed and angry with himself that he didnt managed to pass. He said that this was a good wake up call for him and he had to put in more efforts in his studies. Hopefully, he really woke up.

Had a a short talk with WH as well. He was happy that he managed to pass but he got real down when he talked about leaving the school. His eyes got red again. When i taught him at P5 initially, i nvr thought that he can become so emotional. Haiz... How time flies and children mature... I even made a pact with WH and B to celebrate Xmas next year, cos this year I celebrating Xmas in Phuket. Hahah.. Hope this pact can come to pass....