Tmr will be the day where i embark on a small step of my future career. Looking forward to it so much,haha...
Went to print the notes for tmr prac. Wah lau, the notes like nvr ending one lor. Print till siao lor. Luckily nvr ask friends to print. Or else, so pai seh, Waste so much ink.
Went for my first lesson today. Enjoyed it. Hope this enjoyment can substain.
Tmr's first light is so much warmer.
Sunday, February 25
Saturday, February 24
CNY over
CNY is over in a flash. Collected all the angbaos.. Hahah.. Not bad. Quite ok but some of the aunties (my mother friends) nvr give me lehz. Don know why???
But this month also very siong for me. One of my tuition kid went overseas, so no $$$ from his family tis month. Also, this month i need to pay road tax, car bills and my rocket high phone bills. Wah lau... I now bleeding now lor. Hiaz.... I really need to learn how to control my money. I am such a spendthrift. Hopefully, when practicum comes, i can save more money.
Really hope to go overseas mid of this year. I don wan to break my 'tradition'. A simple trip to KL or Cameron Highlands also can, i don mind. haha... Cna someone just go overseas with me?
Practicum starts in 2 days time. Cant wait to find out who my CT is, what class am I teaching etc. Cant wait to see my prac friends again!
Went to see Jack Neo's new movie "Just Follow Law" Hahah.. The movie potray such realistic 'policies' in the gov nowadays. the strictly "9 - 5" job, the office politics, the arrows flying all over. All Singaporeans should go watch this movie. Its worth the price of $6.50(at all cathay cinemas).
Tmr i am gg for a course tat i've always wanted to take. Hope its not boring and I can make more friends there.
Whether u r happy or sad, life still goes on. Hence, choose! Choose the one that u r more comfortable with and live with no regrets.
But this month also very siong for me. One of my tuition kid went overseas, so no $$$ from his family tis month. Also, this month i need to pay road tax, car bills and my rocket high phone bills. Wah lau... I now bleeding now lor. Hiaz.... I really need to learn how to control my money. I am such a spendthrift. Hopefully, when practicum comes, i can save more money.
Really hope to go overseas mid of this year. I don wan to break my 'tradition'. A simple trip to KL or Cameron Highlands also can, i don mind. haha... Cna someone just go overseas with me?
Practicum starts in 2 days time. Cant wait to find out who my CT is, what class am I teaching etc. Cant wait to see my prac friends again!
Went to see Jack Neo's new movie "Just Follow Law" Hahah.. The movie potray such realistic 'policies' in the gov nowadays. the strictly "9 - 5" job, the office politics, the arrows flying all over. All Singaporeans should go watch this movie. Its worth the price of $6.50(at all cathay cinemas).
Tmr i am gg for a course tat i've always wanted to take. Hope its not boring and I can make more friends there.
Whether u r happy or sad, life still goes on. Hence, choose! Choose the one that u r more comfortable with and live with no regrets.
Friday, February 16
Coming of CNY
Was very disappointed the last few days. I had my mood swings and my tears. However, i plan to put them all behind me and look forward to the future.
CNY is coming and OMG, its my year again. 24 liao ... Feel so old. Haha.. Also a signal that i need to mature quick and fast. No more acting like a child. Hope that this year will be a better one. Ang baos are the basic thing i am looking forward to tis yr, haha... Who isnt? (except for those who are married lar.)
Straight after CNY will be the start of my second practicum. Though I don really like going back to CH, i still sort of look forward to it as stated in my previous entry. Have contact some fellow practicum teachers from CH the last time round and well, all of us are actually looking forward to seeing each other. I think this time round, we will be meeting for outside lunches more often as we need to stay back in school finish up all the work for we are taking over the entire class time from our CT. Hope that i get back my former CT as my main. She seems more willingly to teach rather than other teachers there. She is more willing to accept new ideas, which is what i want.
Last saturday, i accept the invitation of TVPS and went back to join them in their Hui Chun session. Saw all the 'old' teachers there. Then found out that my supervisor from my contract teaching period is going to retire. Felt a bit sad. I have learnt a lot of things from her and she will always have my utmost respect no matter where she is. Now, i just hope that she can come back as a relief teacher so that I can still ask her for pointers as and when needed. I went to the staff room and saw my previous seating. Nothing seems to change. I visualise myself seating there bending over to finish the endless lesson plans and marking my students homework. Hmmm.... Wish I can do that during my final posting.
Spring is once again here. Rejoice as the larks sing like nvr before!
CNY is coming and OMG, its my year again. 24 liao ... Feel so old. Haha.. Also a signal that i need to mature quick and fast. No more acting like a child. Hope that this year will be a better one. Ang baos are the basic thing i am looking forward to tis yr, haha... Who isnt? (except for those who are married lar.)
Straight after CNY will be the start of my second practicum. Though I don really like going back to CH, i still sort of look forward to it as stated in my previous entry. Have contact some fellow practicum teachers from CH the last time round and well, all of us are actually looking forward to seeing each other. I think this time round, we will be meeting for outside lunches more often as we need to stay back in school finish up all the work for we are taking over the entire class time from our CT. Hope that i get back my former CT as my main. She seems more willingly to teach rather than other teachers there. She is more willing to accept new ideas, which is what i want.
Last saturday, i accept the invitation of TVPS and went back to join them in their Hui Chun session. Saw all the 'old' teachers there. Then found out that my supervisor from my contract teaching period is going to retire. Felt a bit sad. I have learnt a lot of things from her and she will always have my utmost respect no matter where she is. Now, i just hope that she can come back as a relief teacher so that I can still ask her for pointers as and when needed. I went to the staff room and saw my previous seating. Nothing seems to change. I visualise myself seating there bending over to finish the endless lesson plans and marking my students homework. Hmmm.... Wish I can do that during my final posting.
Spring is once again here. Rejoice as the larks sing like nvr before!
Monday, February 12
Mid Feb 2007
Think I am going crazy already. Just now i sms her whether she wan go out on wednesday or not. She actually called back to ask me why wan go out. Haha.. And the best part is........... She say she will consider. I felt over the moon when she said tis. At least, she nvr reject straight. Lets just hope that she doesnt think that its a gang outing..
The puzzle is completed. Hope she will feel touched upon seeing it. I am not hoping that she will accept me but wat i am hoping for is just a chance. To say that, i stand a chance in winning her heart.
God seats on His throne, delighted upon seeing His children smiles....
The puzzle is completed. Hope she will feel touched upon seeing it. I am not hoping that she will accept me but wat i am hoping for is just a chance. To say that, i stand a chance in winning her heart.
God seats on His throne, delighted upon seeing His children smiles....
Sunday, February 11
Thoughts on my mind
What is the true and real purpose of volunteerism? We volunteer because we want to help people in need? We want to bring warmth to their lives when most of them live in misery most of the time? What about volunteers ourselves? Do we still have the passion to volunteer when we feel down about the things we do ?
My life of volunteerism begins after i grad from Sec sch. I never thought about leaving the organisation as I felt great after completing one proj after another. I feel great when i see smiles on the students that had in touch with. I feel great when i work together with my friends. I feel great when we hang out after strenuous activities.
I think I am more suited volunteer in activites where I am doing the ground work. I do understand that people need to improve ourselves and climb up the social ladder as we grow. However, i feel that I am in a volunteering organisation, i do not need to force myself to behave like when I am in the outside world. Selfish as i may be to other people but i wan to be myself, enjoying myself when i am doing volunteer work. Why do I need to behave like in the outside world when what I am doing is out of my own willingness?
Responsibility, commitment, leadership, inter-personal skills,emotion control are just some of the things we have to take into consideration when we are doing volunteering work. But since when do office politics come into place? Since when does back-stabbing, garthering armies of soldiers come into place? Since when do people dread doing volunterring work? Since when do committed volunteers break into different groups ? All these will lead to nowhere.
Volunteers are like parts of the body. The limbs, the nerves, the brain, the skin cells, the blood and etc need to work in harmony to make the whole body function well and healthy. When parts of your body fail or refuse to work together, the body is nothing than a lump of bones and skins where it serves no purpose at all.
I am looking forward to my attachment. Crazy as it may seem, i like my career. Though it will be the start of endless lesson plans, no end of complaining of the various teachers i need to work under, a long queue of students that i might ned to call parents and chase their homework; i still feel a sense of achievement at the end of the day. The way their faces light up when they finally understand something. The way their eyes sparkle when they are playing with their friends. The way their mouth curl up when u joke with them. The way they appreciate whatever you have done for them.
Small bodies leaning over their desk to get things done. "Ringgggg" adn all these small bodies will run out of the room. Voices start to scream from all these small bodies. The voices will float to the air-conditioned room where all the big bodies will now lean over their table to get things done. The room will be filled with big bodies.
"Ringgggg" and all the small bodies will run back to their smaller rooms to get ready for the next lessson in life.
"Ringggggg" and all those small bodies will run again to get to their loving guardians/parents into their embrace. The big bodies will offer to carry their bags while the intelligent ones will try to refuse cause carrying their own bag is a sense of maturity to them. The canteen will be brimming full of people who wants to take-away cheap food. Hhaha....
I really cant wait for the day to come.
Autumn times, the leaves falls. Winter time, the tree will be barren. Endure! Edure! Endure! Endure the cold harsh times. Spring time, all will spring to life once again. Summer time, the earth will be filled with laughter from all the children of the world.
My life of volunteerism begins after i grad from Sec sch. I never thought about leaving the organisation as I felt great after completing one proj after another. I feel great when i see smiles on the students that had in touch with. I feel great when i work together with my friends. I feel great when we hang out after strenuous activities.
I think I am more suited volunteer in activites where I am doing the ground work. I do understand that people need to improve ourselves and climb up the social ladder as we grow. However, i feel that I am in a volunteering organisation, i do not need to force myself to behave like when I am in the outside world. Selfish as i may be to other people but i wan to be myself, enjoying myself when i am doing volunteer work. Why do I need to behave like in the outside world when what I am doing is out of my own willingness?
Responsibility, commitment, leadership, inter-personal skills,emotion control are just some of the things we have to take into consideration when we are doing volunteering work. But since when do office politics come into place? Since when does back-stabbing, garthering armies of soldiers come into place? Since when do people dread doing volunterring work? Since when do committed volunteers break into different groups ? All these will lead to nowhere.
Volunteers are like parts of the body. The limbs, the nerves, the brain, the skin cells, the blood and etc need to work in harmony to make the whole body function well and healthy. When parts of your body fail or refuse to work together, the body is nothing than a lump of bones and skins where it serves no purpose at all.
I am looking forward to my attachment. Crazy as it may seem, i like my career. Though it will be the start of endless lesson plans, no end of complaining of the various teachers i need to work under, a long queue of students that i might ned to call parents and chase their homework; i still feel a sense of achievement at the end of the day. The way their faces light up when they finally understand something. The way their eyes sparkle when they are playing with their friends. The way their mouth curl up when u joke with them. The way they appreciate whatever you have done for them.
Small bodies leaning over their desk to get things done. "Ringgggg" adn all these small bodies will run out of the room. Voices start to scream from all these small bodies. The voices will float to the air-conditioned room where all the big bodies will now lean over their table to get things done. The room will be filled with big bodies.
"Ringgggg" and all the small bodies will run back to their smaller rooms to get ready for the next lessson in life.
"Ringggggg" and all those small bodies will run again to get to their loving guardians/parents into their embrace. The big bodies will offer to carry their bags while the intelligent ones will try to refuse cause carrying their own bag is a sense of maturity to them. The canteen will be brimming full of people who wants to take-away cheap food. Hhaha....
I really cant wait for the day to come.
Autumn times, the leaves falls. Winter time, the tree will be barren. Endure! Edure! Endure! Endure the cold harsh times. Spring time, all will spring to life once again. Summer time, the earth will be filled with laughter from all the children of the world.
Friday, February 9
9 Feb 2007
Felt more relieved nowadays. Majority of my projects are over. Don feel as stressed as before. What a wonderful feeling!
CNY is coming. As usual, i will need to go thru the same routine. Go to my uncle's house for 2 days then go to my dad's shop on the 2nd day. Hmmm... Wondering should plan an outing on the second day afternoon since all that we do on the 2nd day noon is just to gamble.
This week was the e-learning week in my school. I have done most of the tutorials tat i need to do for E-learning week and hence, i was quite bored. Therefore, decided to watch the Jap Drama < One Litre of Tears>. It was very touching. Tears kept brimming in my eyes. One of my friend, one tat was quite tough or so i thought, even admitted that his eyes were hot when watching the movie. This movie is strongly recommended. This true-life story even set me thinking abt the purpose of life. Day after day, there are reports of pple committing suicide and not treating life preciously. There are pple on the other end of the world who wishes to live as long as they could but fate just played a trick on them. As wat the drama goes :"what did the illness choose me?" Healthy as I am, i need to treat life preciously and not take it for granted. Life is bestowed upon me by God above and I believe that he wants me to use it carefully. Bringing light unto the world and spreading warmth all around (not neccessarily during festive sessons). Friends must be treated well, no matter wat degree of friends they are in. Though some friends you really feel like strangling them at times, they are still your friends no matter wat.
I must admit, I have failed in terms of handling of friendship but I am still learning. Friends are hard to come by and I believe that it is fate that place me in their lives or place them in my lives. There must be a purpose for everyone. Why take them for granted? Is it only when you start to lose them or one day, find that you cant be with your friends anymore that we will only start to regret?
Each day, as the sunshine lighten up my room, i must light up the heart and mind in my body too; so as to bring the same sunshine into others' lives.
CNY is coming. As usual, i will need to go thru the same routine. Go to my uncle's house for 2 days then go to my dad's shop on the 2nd day. Hmmm... Wondering should plan an outing on the second day afternoon since all that we do on the 2nd day noon is just to gamble.
This week was the e-learning week in my school. I have done most of the tutorials tat i need to do for E-learning week and hence, i was quite bored. Therefore, decided to watch the Jap Drama < One Litre of Tears>. It was very touching. Tears kept brimming in my eyes. One of my friend, one tat was quite tough or so i thought, even admitted that his eyes were hot when watching the movie. This movie is strongly recommended. This true-life story even set me thinking abt the purpose of life. Day after day, there are reports of pple committing suicide and not treating life preciously. There are pple on the other end of the world who wishes to live as long as they could but fate just played a trick on them. As wat the drama goes :"what did the illness choose me?" Healthy as I am, i need to treat life preciously and not take it for granted. Life is bestowed upon me by God above and I believe that he wants me to use it carefully. Bringing light unto the world and spreading warmth all around (not neccessarily during festive sessons). Friends must be treated well, no matter wat degree of friends they are in. Though some friends you really feel like strangling them at times, they are still your friends no matter wat.
I must admit, I have failed in terms of handling of friendship but I am still learning. Friends are hard to come by and I believe that it is fate that place me in their lives or place them in my lives. There must be a purpose for everyone. Why take them for granted? Is it only when you start to lose them or one day, find that you cant be with your friends anymore that we will only start to regret?
Each day, as the sunshine lighten up my room, i must light up the heart and mind in my body too; so as to bring the same sunshine into others' lives.
Saturday, February 3
Relieved
Today i actually did something i nvr in my lifetime thought i would do. I actually was on the verge of breaking down in the middle of the room of ard 10 plus pple. Luckily, i don think anyone saw it except for M.
M was talking to me today abt SJ(superiors, courses etc). Suddenly,we touch on a sensitive issue of mine. Then, i also don know why. Tears was juz brimming in my eyes. Thinking back when i was juz a greenhorn, everything jus seems so perfect. SJ is a volunteer organisation where my friends are. I look forward to every SJ activities though it was tiring.
Nowadays, thought SJ was still tiring, it was no longer how i felt anymore. This type of tiring no longer brings great rewards when it ends. It juz bring along more frustration & tiredness. I wish I could muster enough courage to leave this organisation and all but i juz couldnt.
Though I cant say that i am steady enough to lead the junior officers, i juz felt that i couldnt juz leave without any guidance to the junior officers. Even HY agree with me. He actually say that I am just a selfish bastard if i juz leave like tat.
There is one more event coming up whereby i most prob will be playing a significant role. I don have much confidence in my assistant actually. However, i hope that with a greater responsibilities, he will be able to take up more things and mature. Right now, i don feel tat he has proven to be up to expectation. It might jus be a lack of opportunities. Hopefully, this one knocks @ the right time. I also don know whether he like to work under me or nt. Maybe he might feel damn pissed that he nids to work under me again. Maybe he feels that i am not capable enough to lead him. I cant read his mind but i juz hope that he have chances to prove himself rather than being buried in a sea of people. Recently, he told me tat the stress that i am facing down is I, myself brought it upon myself. Is it really true? I have overestimate myself?
A few friends have brought me disappointment recently. I don know whether is it bcoz i disappoint them in the first place and hence the result or some other reasons. I sincerely hope that thigns can get back to the the old happy times again. But i don think that is possible anymore. I think I am at fault. It cant be at a period of time, it juz seems that a grp of my friends are irritated by me.
Looking @ the sky, I see black clouds. Each time i look up, i pray from the bottom of my heart that i can see the silver lining around it.
M was talking to me today abt SJ(superiors, courses etc). Suddenly,we touch on a sensitive issue of mine. Then, i also don know why. Tears was juz brimming in my eyes. Thinking back when i was juz a greenhorn, everything jus seems so perfect. SJ is a volunteer organisation where my friends are. I look forward to every SJ activities though it was tiring.
Nowadays, thought SJ was still tiring, it was no longer how i felt anymore. This type of tiring no longer brings great rewards when it ends. It juz bring along more frustration & tiredness. I wish I could muster enough courage to leave this organisation and all but i juz couldnt.
Though I cant say that i am steady enough to lead the junior officers, i juz felt that i couldnt juz leave without any guidance to the junior officers. Even HY agree with me. He actually say that I am just a selfish bastard if i juz leave like tat.
There is one more event coming up whereby i most prob will be playing a significant role. I don have much confidence in my assistant actually. However, i hope that with a greater responsibilities, he will be able to take up more things and mature. Right now, i don feel tat he has proven to be up to expectation. It might jus be a lack of opportunities. Hopefully, this one knocks @ the right time. I also don know whether he like to work under me or nt. Maybe he might feel damn pissed that he nids to work under me again. Maybe he feels that i am not capable enough to lead him. I cant read his mind but i juz hope that he have chances to prove himself rather than being buried in a sea of people. Recently, he told me tat the stress that i am facing down is I, myself brought it upon myself. Is it really true? I have overestimate myself?
A few friends have brought me disappointment recently. I don know whether is it bcoz i disappoint them in the first place and hence the result or some other reasons. I sincerely hope that thigns can get back to the the old happy times again. But i don think that is possible anymore. I think I am at fault. It cant be at a period of time, it juz seems that a grp of my friends are irritated by me.
Looking @ the sky, I see black clouds. Each time i look up, i pray from the bottom of my heart that i can see the silver lining around it.
Friday, February 2
End of Jan
Jan is over and Feb is budding. Yesterday, I just felt so tired. I was @ Keypoint eating my lunch and then suddenly, i just felt so tired. Soooo Lethargic.I felt that i no longer counld comprehend the true meaning of volunterism. Its either i lost the passion or i am going the wrong direction. Handling matters in the NCO Course, Passing Out Ceremony, CAA, Development dept are morethan what i can take. I thought i would be able to handle them well but then, i have proven myself wrong. I guess I am not a guy that can take stress very well. Shall give a deep thought to this matter again.
End Feb would be my start of my practicum again. This time round, grades will be counted and also affect a large portion of my grades.I hve been dealt with a strong blow the last time round and I have to ensure that this wouldnt happen again tis year. Have to make sure i prepare every lesson in detail and anticipate the situations that might arise. Good luck to me and pray that God will walk together with me in this journey.
i have sorted out my thoughts with regards to the friends' problems. I now understand that we cant expect our friends to meet our 'expectations'. Asking for too much is definitely one of my problem. I think I have curb that problem and I am actually quite ok in this present situation.
TVPS has asked me to go back to join them in their 'Hui Chun' nxt sat. I was actually very surprised when they invited me to go back. Its like all of a sudden they asked me to join them when i recieved nothing the last 2 yrs. Haha.. I began to think, is it the reality of the world ? (I am graduating this june.)I am again posted to CH for my second and last practicum, but i hope that i can join TVPS after i graduate from NIE.
End Feb would be my start of my practicum again. This time round, grades will be counted and also affect a large portion of my grades.I hve been dealt with a strong blow the last time round and I have to ensure that this wouldnt happen again tis year. Have to make sure i prepare every lesson in detail and anticipate the situations that might arise. Good luck to me and pray that God will walk together with me in this journey.
i have sorted out my thoughts with regards to the friends' problems. I now understand that we cant expect our friends to meet our 'expectations'. Asking for too much is definitely one of my problem. I think I have curb that problem and I am actually quite ok in this present situation.
TVPS has asked me to go back to join them in their 'Hui Chun' nxt sat. I was actually very surprised when they invited me to go back. Its like all of a sudden they asked me to join them when i recieved nothing the last 2 yrs. Haha.. I began to think, is it the reality of the world ? (I am graduating this june.)I am again posted to CH for my second and last practicum, but i hope that i can join TVPS after i graduate from NIE.
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