25th April 2007

Today was such a bad day. It jus didnt go right from the start.

First, i woke up quite late. Ard 615am then i woke up. Need to rush off to work.

Then, i found out that my ppt slides juz went missing. Search the whole laptop but jus counldnt find it @ all. So have to rush and rush. I didnt eat for the enire day till after school when i reached home.

Got two observation 2day. The p5 one was still okie. The p3 one was disaterous. I was doing my teaching materials for the kids up to the last minute. I reached the class room one min late and my CT was already in the classroom.One pt down. Then, i waited for the boys to set up the lap top. I didnt prepare anything to make the students busy while the boys were settling the lap top cos i thought i would make it in time. Siao liao lor. I asked the whole class to read the passage while the boys were settling the lap top. Then, even after they finished reading, the lap top was still not ready. I need to ask them questions right off my head. Wah lau. Stress lor. My CT was writing down points after points. I was gg mad liao.

After 20min, the lap top was still not ready. I decide to do everything on the whiteboard then instead of relying on IT. Then, i think because i got off a bad start, the whole class was in chaos. I need to settle them down again and again. Due to my nervousness, i was also perspiring like no ones' biz. I really feel like jus to stop teaching lor. I think tis time die liao. Tis observation sure all unacceptable. See what my CT have to say when i meet her tmr lor.

When i reached the staff room, i saw TVPS SMS. I called back and realised the TVPS Principal has alr talked to CHS Principal for the request to have me nack to TVPS. TVPS even has alr made plans for me to take over Boys Brigade when i go over. I haven decide yet and they alr made plans for me. Actually, i was thinking not to go TVPS anymore. I wanted to go CHS more. Now, they made plans for me and even went to the extent of talking to CHS principal. Win liao lor. I now really @ loss of what to do.

Feel really down. Tried to reach my buddy to talk over but couldnt contact him. Went to Seletar Resrvoir alone. Sat there for ard 1 hr. Let all thoughts rush thru my mind and tried very hard to cool myself down. Then, raindrops start to fall and sianz...... Hav to get back into the car and drove back home. On the way, went to coffee shop to get my breakfast cum lunch cum tea-break. Saw my sec sch classmate. He asked me why i look so depressed. I don know what to tell him lor.

Haiz... Take one thing @ a time bahz. Don wan to think so much now. Yes, i know that this is like running away from reality but i juz don wan to think anymore. Take a good slp and see how things go again tmr. Which reminds me, i haven do the lesson plan for tmr yet. Sianz X 100000000.

Father, i pray to you to hold and carry me in Your arms again. I need Your touch to keep my strength going on. I know that Your powers are beyond what we can imagine and I pray that You can always keep me strong again.